How to Spot a Bad Boss — and How to Avoid Being One Yourself
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I have had bad bosses before. Moments where I felt unheard, unseen, unappreciated — the kind of slow-burn frustration that makes you fantasize about walking out during a Tuesday afternoon meeting. But I had never had a boss, or worked for a company, like the one I would come to think of as the most toxic organization I had ever encountered.
It was the highest-paying job I had ever had. The highest title. And I had wanted it for a very long time. Early in my career I set a goal for myself to grow into a leadership position — and when I finally got there, what I found was Leadersh!t.
The day I left, one of the HR team members and I had a brief, casual conversation standing next to my car. I said to her, "I just cannot figure this place out — it's so toxic and dysfunctional." She looked at me with an expression I will never forget and said, "It runs very deep here." And with that, I got in my car and drove away.
After my time there, one thing is certain: toxic and abusive workplaces start with Leadersh!t.
This book is part memoir, part field manual for how to spot bad leadership — and how to make sure you never become it yourself.
She looked at me with an expression I will never forget and said,
"It runs very deep here."
"I don't have a lot of clarity for you" was my boss's catchphrase.
In the first few months at what I have come to think of as the most toxic company on Earth, my boss answered a surprising number of direct questions with some version of that phrase. What are my priorities this quarter? I don't have a lot of clarity for you. What does success look like in this role? I don't have a lot of clarity for you. Should I be worried about what's happening with the restructure? I don't have a lot of clarity for you.
The Ghost doesn't always know they're haunting you. More often, they're avoiding the discomfort of not having answers — and choosing to make that your problem instead of theirs.
Think of the last difficult conversation you had with a direct report. Now think of the last one you avoided.
If the second list is longer, you're failing your team in a way that doesn't show up on any performance review — yours or theirs. The wince test is simple: when you imagine having the conversation, do you wince? That wince is information. It tells you that you know this needs to happen and that you're afraid of it. Both of those things are true. Neither of them is a reason not to do it.
Bad bosses wince and walk away. Good leaders wince and walk toward.
The Bad Boss Files is an ongoing series of real stories — from Erin and from readers — that informed the research and writing of Leadersh!t. 29 stories live now. More arriving every month.
Read the Bad Boss Files →